Toenail Clipping societies are becoming more mainstream as the many important uses of the skill go beyond simple sacred ceremonies. New uses for toenails have been discovered in science, medicine and as potential solutions to world hunger and poverty.
A new MIT department has recently been founded, with funding from the US government, approved by George W. Bush himself. Bush has was quoted recently, at a party fundraising dinner, as saying "Toenails are the next fossil fuels and have great potential in solving global warming, once and for all! It's about time we all learned about the benefits of toenails".
New regulations are now being drafted in congress about the responsible use of advanced toenail clipping as the skills could be dangerous if they were to fall in the wrong hands. This has brought to light the need for advanced training and supervision for all toenail clipping enthusiasts the world wide.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Advanced_Toenail_Clipping"